


Snap Shots

by AkaShika



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Community: hp_drizzle, Gen, HP Drizzle Fest 2019, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-10 14:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20529194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaShika/pseuds/AkaShika
Summary: The temperatures getting warmer always reminds Regulus that the end of the year - and the end of his freedom - is approaching.





	Snap Shots

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to M for the super-speedy beta work, and to the mods for hosting this fest. You're all doing fab!

May 13th was often warm in Scotland. It was like the sun shone twice as bright during the few months it had before the northern autumn fell, April was always slightly chilly, but by mid-May, the Hogwarts grounds were a pleasant place to be. 

Mid-May also signified the last few weeks before Regulus would be locked in a dark, dank townhouse. This mid-May was worse than others.

The war was getting worse, people on both sides were dying, no one had faith in anyone. 

This year, mid-May signified the end of Regulus's childhood. He would go home, be doted on as the model heir, and be marked for a cause he didn't believe in but was too much of a coward to fight against. 

Any chance he had of reconciliation with his brother, the brother his family refused to acknowledge, would be gone by the end of June. He didn't need to be a Seer to predict that much. 

As if in contrast to the bright day, Regulus stands in shadows on the east side of the castle, watching as a group of girls split in three, one group heading towards the clock tower, another towards the Entrance Hall, and a final girl on her own, heading right towards Regulus.

He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards the back of the castle. No one needs to see the nightmare that’s about to come and Regulus wishes he could avoid it too. 

He stops near a fallen gargoyle and sits on the dry grass. 

He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want this year to end. He’s not ready and he’s more than willing to admit it. 

The girls sits neatly beside him and Regulus looks at her casually. He won’t speak until she does, that’s the way this goes. 

“Two weeks,” is the only thing she says, and Regulus could jinx Lily Evans seven ways from Sunday for cutting through bullshit to get to the problem.

“Reggie?” Her voice is sharp and Regulus knows she’s just worried too.

“I heard you,” he says and he puts his forehead in his hands and tries to breath through his panic. 

“Come with us,” Lily says, “Please. Let me tell them and they can help.”

“It’s no longer about helping, Lily,” Regulus says, and his anger at the situation explodes. “It’s no longer about making the other side see they’re wrong, because they don’t care. They’re happy to kill and torture and nothing any of you does is going to change that. Even when this war ends, they’ll still be there. They will be the people with influence and they will be the ones making the rules. It’s not about making the world better for them, not like it is for Dumbledore or you, or my stupid brother. It’s about making sure they can do whatever they want and no one can fight against them.

“You can’t fight against them, Lily. James Potter can’t fight against them, and Sirius can’t fight them either. Not without getting hurt, not without possibly dying.”

“And what about what you’re doing?” 

She stands and turns to him, her eyes glittering and her fists clenched at her sides. Regulus struggles to hide a smile. 

“I’ll be alive, which is more than I can say about all you wannabe war heroes over in Gryffindor.”

“You don’t think they’re going to make you one of them, then?” Lily asks. And the bitterness in her smile tells him she already knows. 

“They tried to mark him and he refused. They tried to mark him and he… He cut all ties with his family, including his brother,” Regulus finishes. It had been the last time he'd seen Sirius properly and, at the time, he hadn't realised it was the last time he’d speak to him too. 

He glances up at Lily again, and then wishes he’d been a little more careful with his words, even if he’s not sure why she’s so upset over them. 

“Look,” he says, tugging on her hand to make her sit down again. “I know you think we’ve all got a teeny, tiny lion cub in us just waiting to break free, but that’s not true. Not all of us can be brave, not everyone can handle a grand showdown. Some of us are just wondering how we can survive with a little less pain, and wondering if it’ll be worth it in the end.”

He’d always wished he was brave like Sirius, but as Regulus turned his face to the sun, he couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t know if it was worth it.

He looks at Lily once again, the sun on her face, looking anxious but beautiful. He can see why James Potter fell in love with her, even if he has no idea what was going through her head.

“Can you do me a favour?” he asks. “When it’s done, when you’re all alive at the end, can you tell Sirius I tried to help, that I did what I could so it wasn’t as bad?”

Lily nods, and then tears begin to fill her eyes again and Regulus finds himself with his arms full. He thinks he’ll remember for the rest of his life his arms filled with warmth as the sun bears down on him, the smell of coconut around him from her shampoo. It feels like freedom to Regulus, and he’ll remember it until he can feel it again. 

* * *

“Sirius?”

Lily is playing with Harry on the small lawn in front of their cottage, enjoying the warm sun of May in the south of England before Dumbledore puts the final preparations in place for their protection after his birthday. 

“Are you alright?”

He has a piece of parchment held in his fist and his eyes are rimmed with red. Christ, Lily doesn’t think she could take another death. It seems to be the only thing they have news about anymore. She picks up Harry and brings him over to Sirius. Handing the baby over to whoever needed comfort has quickly become an easy way to help all of them. She takes the letter from him and begins to unfold it when Sirius tells her what is in it anyway. 

“My brother’s dead.”  


**Author's Note:**

> This story/art is part of an anonymous fest: drizzle 2019. Reveals will be in mid-October. Please do not repost anywhere else without explicit permission from the original creator.


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